What Is Attachment?
Filtering Controlling Desires
Throughout your day, whenever you think of it, find the desire behind what you are doing by revealing why you are doing it. You will probably find your motivations several layers deep. For example:
You realize that you are going to work even though you would rather stay home. Why? Because you need the money. So you are motivated my money. Why? To pay the bills. But why do you want to pay the bills? You want to pay the bills because you don’t want the electricity turned off. Why? Because you want the house to be warm, to cook food for your meals, and to heat hot water for showers, etc. Why? Because you want a certain level of comfort. Why?
At this point, let’s say you hit a wall—you may assume that you have gotten to the bottom of things but you haven’t. But this is just a little wall and we can walk right through it. You have determined that you are motivated by the desire to have comfort but you don’t know why. So now ask this question:
What would my life be like if I could not have this degree of comfort?
This will uncover a ‘negative’ desire—you will discover what you don’t want, and then you can ask yourself why again. Why don’t you want to be without this degree of comfort, to live like this, to feel like this? When you get an answer to this, again ask why. At some point you may find yourself on the trail of a positive desire again or not (it doesn’t matter).
When you finally reach the bottom of your stack of answers, you will feel something in your physical body chime to the same frequency as the control-desire that you have been looking for, and you will finally know what this desire is. You have now arrived at a point of choice that can make a real difference in your life:
(1) You can choose to accept it and continue putting up with it nipping at your heels,
(2) You can choose to focus on the pleasantness this desire-idea gives you when you think of having it (this is probably more pleasant than the desired object anyway*), or…
(3) You can choose to ignore this desire altogether and move on to other things.
* Better than the desired object: This is a reference to "The Mode Sets the Mood" in a previous post on the nature of desire as it "...colors the way things appear to the one experiencing it, prompting feelings that may or may not be at all relevant to the object of desire itself."
The ball is now in your court. You are no longer a slave to this desire, no matter which choice you made. You made an informed conscious choice based on factual data, so you are in charge now, not the desire. You can even change the choice you made to another choice….. if you so desire!
Namaste (I bow to the Divine One that You really are),