Experiences

Please share your Meditation Experiences here. Use “Reply” to share and respond.

If I don’t respond to a question or comment you leave for me, send me an email and let me know. For some reason the auto email telling me that someone has left a Reply is no longer functioning on this site.

To view Meditation Experiences before 2013, go to this link.

Love,
Durga Ma
durgama.com

81 thoughts on “Experiences

  1. rakesh kumar Nayak

    Brother I hope u will help me……..I am 19 doing meditation from 5 years… During first 6 month I felt something n base of spine later I know that it is a pranotthana process……. Now this process working n brain…. It’s reached back of the head then brow chakra then fore head now to of head… Awesome cool sensation and vibration..i want to know when this process will end and when the real kundalini process start?… Did pranic force mean pranotthana process opens crown chakra? Now how I will meditate for kundalini awakening?

    Like

    1. Sorry to disappoint, but I am “sister” not “brother”.

      Pranotthana means ‘prana-up’, or ‘strong prana’. There are several articles on this site that address prana, apana, pranotthana, kundalini, kundalini awakening, shakti, shaktipat, and chakras. Do searches and read more to better understand what is happening to you.

      Here is a tip: anything you can feel in the body, any physical sensation, is prana at work. Kundalini works subtly and in sequential order as She passes through the central channel, (sushumna nadi). This takes many years of much daily meditation.

      Like

  2. Bob,

    That was a nice takeoff. One of the mind’s best tricks is to let us think we don’t have an ego (the ego is the core of the mind) by leading us down darker paths …. like thinking shaktipat didn’t take, thinking we’ve failed, thinking nothing is happening, thinking that we’re doing something wrong, thinking we should just give up. This is just its way of sucking us dry and maintaining its dominance. But you have caught on. Bravo for you!

    Like

    1. Dear Durga Ma,

      Thanks for your reply. Your comments were very helpful. I’m realizing that the skeptic in me has held me back from devoting myself to my sadhana with total dedication. I’m feeling a growing faith that my practice is being guided by the divine and that all I need do is show up everyday with this faith and surrender. I have a question: I’m attending an Enlightenment Intensive from October 18 o October 25. This is my third EI; I’ve attended two three-day EI’s in the past and have had a direct experience during both. I have recently read Charles Berner’s comments about having a direct experience during an EI in LIVING FROM TRUTH, A Manual for Masters of Long Enlightenment Intensives by Jack Chapman. Charles advices care and caution during a direct experience because of kundalini activity. Charles is addressing what might happen during long EIs, such as a month long EI. Do you have any advice for me in this regard before I attend the EI? Is this something I should discuss with you during a private session, and if so, what is the best way to set that up before I leave?
      Warmly,
      Bob T

      Like

  3. Odette

    I really enjoyed your site, you seem to have a broad knowledge. I was wondering if you could shed light on my experience, I don’t have a guru but one came to me in a dream and lead me to a large white room full of children and guided me to an old lady who told me that fear was holding me back. Below is an outline of when my experiences began : At the time of my fathers death (about 1hour after) I had a kundalini awakening in the hospital car park of all places. I was very distressed just before it happened and I felt it as a overwhelming joyful feeling, it rose in me and I felt unbelievable contentment/joy and this lasted for about 4 days. I wanted and did do very long bush walks, I just wanted to be in nature and everything seemed richer and brighter. At the time I thought my fathers spirit had passed through me, but seven months ago I went to a kundalini class (thinking I was just regular yoga/stretching!) and on the second class I had a far more dramatic kundalini awakening whilst in deep relaxation. I felt it burst from my abdomen and I felt the same most beautiful feeling again, I could control this energy and when it emerged I felt myself in this life disappear, I felt like I was merging with this infinite beauty and loosing myself so I stopped it and had the thought that you must come back now and I did. Since this has happened my whole life has altered, I eat different, phobias and worries no longer exist and everyone around me says I’m so chilled and so different. I realise now that at the moment of my fathers death I had a kundalini awakening, i now do kundalini yoga for 1 1/2hrs Each day and regularly attend classes. I am continuing to have many experiences which I would love to discuss with someone knowledgable. Thanks so much 🙂

    Like

    1. Dear Odette,

      The individual who came to you in your dream is a ‘guide’. I hesitate using this term, but a guide is different than a living guru and performs different functions. It is very auspicious to become aware of a guide. This suggests to me that you are entering into meditation in your sleep, also auspicious. The children in the room may be indicative of seekers, innocent to the teachings you seek and need. The old lady is telling you why you are in this room (fear).

      It is not really possible to eradicate fear, as it is natural to the body, but one can go forth in spite of fear and make much progress, then the learned fears stored in the mind and can be dealt with. You would be wise at this point to start shopping for a guru to guide you in this world.

      I cannot speak to the ‘kundalini class’, as I don’t know what that is, unless it is a Kundalini Yoga class of the lineage of Yogi Bhajan, which would be a very nice yoga class to attend.

      Namaste,
      Durga Ma

      Like

      1. Odette

        Dear Durga ma,

        Thank you for taking the time to reply, I have many questions 🙂 I am totally devoted to regular yoga practise. I do feel I need guidance, I read information on your site about powers spontaneously happening, I’m remembering past lives I think and feeling myself leaving my body during meditation and beginning of sleep (not all the time). Your site helped me realise that these things are known and I needn’t let them distract me ( which they are as I’m unsettled after the experiences and I’m amazed by them!). Thank you for explaining my dream, were you saying that I’m trapped in a room of fear? And we’re the children in the room others like me? I know that I stop the experiences because I become afraid, I feel like the individual ego me is going/disappearing and I make myself come back. Could you tell me how I find a guru and what a guide does? Thank you so much xx

        Like

        1. Dear Odette,

          You are having pranotthana. This is ‘strong prana’ that awakens kundalini. This is what is behind the phenomena you are experiencing. It is very auspicious.

          Keep an eye out for an upcoming blog on the Gita (verse 41 I think) where I will be offering the Surrender Meditation course free to blog Followers. In it, there is a large section on how to shop for a teacher/guru. I think this would be very helpful to you.

          Where are you located?

          Like

    2. Dear Durga Ma,
      My remote shakitpat initiation took place today, October 8, 2014. I had received shaktipat before, many years ago, but had doubted that anything actually happened. I realized recently that my ego has been convincing me that “it didn’t take, ” however, I now see that much had happened in the past to indicate that my kundalini was awake, but that I had refused to acknowledge it. I have a strong skeptical side, and a strong need for more and more verification.
      This time after feeling relaxed and peaceful I experienced movement and tension in my neck. It felt like my neck—both front and back—were tightening up, then my head tilted back at quite an extreme angle and stayed that way for five or six minutes. This was accompanied by seeing the color purple throughout my visual field. I also felt this same tightening throughout my entire body: my abdomen was very tight as was my chest and shoulders. When my whole body was tensing up from the abdomen to my head I saw a tiny white light traveling from the bottom of my visual field to the top. My closed eyes followed the movement up, which ended with my eyes crossed and looking up between my eyebrows.
      I also had the vision of a set of eyes in a partial face that also moved upward as well. It struck me that these eyes looked like the eyes of Jesus, which is strange because I’m not really a Christian, although I was raised as a Catholic.
      I had another vision. I saw the profile of an old man who needed a haircut and a shave. This image changed into that of a chimpanzee/man, a combination of a man and chimp who seemed to be playful and quite friendly. He was looking at me and making contact. I’m familiar with Hanuman, and thought that this image resembled him.
      At one point I came out of my sitting posture and lay down on my back. This felt relaxing but before long the tensing in my body began again, moving from my abdomen, check and neck. I felt a sudden surge of happiness and began to cry.
      I stayed in meditation for about 90 minutes. It was a really wonderful experience. I feel a bit exhausted from it, however, but feel that this shaktipat initiation was what I needed to kick start me back into the sadhana I had given up so many years ago. Thank you Durga Ma for your grace and for the vehicle you have provided for me to receive this wonderful gift. I really had my doubts, but as I said before, I’m seeing that these doubts are the play of my ego to keep me from practicing sadhana. Thank you! Thanks you! Blessings, Bob T

      Like

  4. John McDonald

    Dear Durga Ma,

    Thank you so much for the remote shaktipat diksha yesterday Sun 30th (which would have been my late father’s birthday, as my late mother’s would have been today 31st).

    It was very reassuring to me that you begin the audio with that particular mantra,
    as it is one which had already found me, so to speak. I therefore feel confident
    that I am in good hands, as it were, and the right ones.

    I am reading, and enjoying, your biography by Dr Terry Preston.

    Q: Would it be good if I did your “Learn Easy Meditation” online course?

    Many thanks again – Namaste,

    John McDonald.

    Like

    1. The courses you mention are more up to date on phoenixmetaphysical.com. Click on “Courses” and go to Course Descriptions. Begin with New Dawn. Because you are doing surrender sadhana, use the meditations you find in these courses as “experiments”.

      I think it is always good to have the fundamentals. It is easy to forget the obvious as we progress, and it is these fundamental things that represent all the stages of our sadhana, however advanced and esoterically we have to read and understand them. And if you should ever want to teach, you will need to remember what it is like at the beginning. You can also teach these courses to others. See “Teacher Training” on the main menu of the same site.

      Blessings,
      Durga Ma

      Like

  5. Hi
    I’m just begining to practice surrender meditation. I’m at lesson 4.
    Here are some thoughts that occured during the meditation.
    First, surrender my attention to god, is not meditating on god.
    How do I give it to god? At one point, my thoughts were wandering around. And I’ve offered those thoughts to god. I’ve offered the micro worries in my thoughts (If I think, that means that there is some worrying in some way) to god. Just the thought of giving them to god wat the way to do it. At one point, I asked how do I really give my attention to god? I didn’t know. I gave this question to god and let God do it.

    Between those thoughts, there were also more quiet moments.

    Thanks
    Eric

    Like

    1. Non-Technique Meditation is done the same way as Surrender Meditation, only you surrender the attention instead of surrendering as described in the shaktipat initiation instructions. You only need to surrender at the beginning of your meditation—it is a choice you make. Then you just let go and accept whatever happens or doesn’t happen—you’ve delegated God to run things, so don’t bother trying to second-guess yourself. You’re covered.

      Jaya Bhagavan,
      Durga Ma

      Like

      1. Hi Durga Ma and thanks for your response. That makes me realise that I may not have seen the difference between “surrender meditation” and non-technical meditation. So I will go back to my readings. Thanks. Eric

        Like

  6. Hi Durga Ma

    I had a strong doubt yesterday in the evening about the time of the shaktipat : was it in the evening (6 pm)? (I asked myself) I was sure It was pm because the energy was strong. But I look this morning and It really was schedulled for 6 am (9 am my time).

    We had some visit yesterday and at one point point in the evening, It was very difficult for me to follow the conversation. I just wanted to rest and get isolated. When I close my eyes in my bed, I saw how active was my 3rd eyes… I had many and rapid visions. Very colorfull in all the spectrum of colours.

    Since we’ve agreed on a date for the shaktipat, the energy was begining to work. Someday before the shaktipat, I felt some disconfort in my head. Too much energy in the head maybe.

    During the shaktipat, the energy was gentle. My head was like “wooly” (wadding) (not sure of the word). The sensation was good.

    It was easy to meditate and to stay stillness.
    At the begining, I had the sensation to be pulled on the right side, and then on the left side. I felt some pressure on the heart chakra.

    Then, I had some memories (with some emotions) from my childhooh that came back to my consciousness.

    After 30 minutes, It seemed to stop. Then I took some notes. I got back to work. And at 10 h 40, the energy was back. And I felt the need to stretch. And I saw a hand mudra but It was to fast. I was not able to reproducie it.

    This morning I feel good.

    I realize that there are many details in the sensation/visions. Like words that were written, letter, maybe some in sanskrit. I felt a connection to People in India.

    Thanks for this initiation. It’s very different from reiki.

    Have a nice day _/\_

    Eric

    Like

  7. Dear Durga Maa,
    Many thanks for the profound experience. I followed the instructions and I must confess that I had plenty of involuntary movements. I eventually lied down and felt lot of sensations in forehead. I think I slept after that. I feel refreshed and definitely it was a deep experience. Many thanks
    Dr Milind Kumar

    Like

  8. sev

    Dear Durga Ma Thanks for this beautiful remote shaktipat. I’ve felt energy before the hour. I’ve felt warmth in second chakra. When i started music my body begin to move slowly.

    Sometimes right to left, left to right, sometimes move from front to behind, behind to front.. i sometimes felt movements inside the body.

    My meditation seem to be deeper and deeper and more peaceful. I also feel energy on coronal chakra.
    Thanks for all dear DurgaMa take care
    Sev

    Like

      1. sev

        When i’m not practicing meditation, I also sometimes feel a hot energy moving in the sacred chakra and in the low back along the column. A nice warmth energy of sweetness and love
        take care and thanks for all

        Like

      2. Pavel

        today I’ve started my journey / initiation / I felt fire inside my body /rising to my head /and after then gentle tingling ,thank you
        Durga Ma

        Like

  9. Brahmananda

    Dear Durga Ma,
    thank you for your gift, and for keeping this tradition and lineage alive.
    I already practice surrender meditation for a few years now, irregularly, and I asked for your shaktipat as I made a long pause in my sadhana and hoped to restart it with your loving gift.
    In the beginning, when the music started, my body spontaneously started to swing back and forth and, honestly, I had impression of some nice, very feminine energy like dancing with me. The rest of an hour was filled with stretching, irregular movements, I fell asleep at one point and had short but vivid dreams etc. At the end of it I felt really peacefully and I knew I am going to continue my sadhana, every day. And then – after I thanked God for meditation, I sat in front of my computer and played your audio file again. This time I was able to hear it better. It struck me! I felt some incredible longing for God in the music, like Goddess longing for God, and then there were some deeper sounds that I felt like God longing for Goddess. I felt immense love and started to cry. I felt my heart opening and I felt true, genuine love for God. I am so happy I played the audio again at the end of meditation, it was worth this heart opening! Thank you Durga Ma.

    Like

    1. Brahmananda

      And, I would like to add, after being really moved by my sadhana today, that I feel that Shakti is Pure Love. In fact, Shakti = Love! This sadhana IS Love! Surrender is Love!

      Like

      1. Darshan Baba

        Aum-
        Thank You sooo much for sharing your experience with the family! It is always so inspiring and joyful to share in these Divine Plays of Maha Shakti… for when we can directly relate to these experiences we can feel your own experience as described through emanation/resonance/oness. The Truth is the Infinity of this Ecstatic Dance of Shiva (Consciousness) and Shakti (Power to experience Being) is overwhelming to the human comprehension, because of this very oneness of Infinity —- all the information is there all the time the sum total of the ever expanding boundless Experience of all aspects of all infinity simultaneously….

        indeed this mind will have to agree, this Infinity of the Power of Shakti – the never ending possibilities of experiencing Being is indeed none other than Love, or a product of That Infinite Love…. How Amazing! This Maha Maya is not an enemy or antagonism, it is the very never ending playground of Being! Perhaps if we are unsatisfied with the experiences that we are drawing out of that Infinity of Possibilities (Shakti) then we just need to pay more attention to what we are asking for…

        Furthermore….. indeed how can we ever express enough Gratitude to Durgaa Maa for Her Being and work in service to this Truth!!!

        Like

    2. You are blessed to have already begun this sadhana and can now get on with it. You are very perceptive about the nature of the music — Kundalini-Shakti, the source of the music, has blessed you with it. Jaya Bhagavan!

      Like

      1. Brahmananda

        Since shaktipat I meditate every day, and I really love surrender meditation, if I don’t have it every day, or at least, every other day, I really miss it. It transforms me, purifies me, gets me closer to Truth, makes me more open, more aware, more loving… I am grateful to God and destiny that I had been able to learn and practice this sadhana. Love to you all!

        Like

  10. sev

    Hello, thanks for the futur remote shaktipat initiation on september 19. I’m in France, and i’m very hapy for that.

    Thanks a lot.
    All y love.
    Namasté

    Like

  11. Dear Ones,

    I checked in today and discovered that there were messages I had not received email alerts about. I am very pleased that you are using this site to communicate with each other and to share your experiences with your spiritual family. In the future, I will make it a point to check in more often when I don’t see alerts coming in.

    I also wanted to thank all of you who have pledged. We are very grateful for your support of SKY Haven and this body. I hope I live to see the day that SKY Haven becomes a reality and provides you all with many options for continuing your sadhana without disruption through the stages of life and the stages of sadhana. It is very important, even crucial, to have this in place. Thank you very much.

    Love,
    Durga Ma

    Like

  12. Arthur

    Dear Durga Ma,

    I just wanted to share some of the things that have happened over the last month during sadhana.

    Recently during meditation, I heard a loud snapping sound, like a large rat trap being set off. It startled me to the point my body shook. I thought at first it might have been someone in the house making noise, but no one was awake yet. I asked my wife about it, and she said she didn’t hear anything. Then last week during meditation, I heard music. It was actually the sound of a choir singing. When I realized this was part of my sadhana, I was filled with joy. It seemed very real. Then I heard the sound of paper crinkling, and I tried to turn around to see if someone was behind me. However, I was unable to move. A few minutes later I returned to normal consciousness.

    Love,
    Shambhu

    Like

  13. Dear Durga Ma,

    Finally the day of my initiation came and it was unbelievable. Simply so I, because I was able to feel the divine presence in absolute, unambiguous way. It was not just in clues, or random suggestive ways for me to deduce. I felt the life force of divine mother and it was gentle.

    Let me start how…….(Incidentally I have been initiated on 22nd July, a very auspicious day i.e Guru Poornima, i.e when one’s Guru is in his/her full power and the day when one pays reverence to one’s Guru).

    To begin I sat in a normal, Indian crossed legged fashion. Not a Padmasana but a normal Sukhasana.

    1) Starting into the 15 minutes of meditation which began with the mantra and mandala, I felt absolutely nothing. Truly speaking, I started to feel little discouraged, however, I had decided I would go through the entire 1 hour no matter what.

    2) Shortly after 15 – 20 minutes, I felt a minute vibrations in my back causing my posture to bend downwards. Very, slowly I started bending my head further down until my head was touching the ground. I was still cross legged and simultaneously my head was bent down, my hands still on my knees.

    It was like an inverted ‘U’. However, at this point I was not sure whether it was the kundalini had actually moved my body in this posture or was it that my body had got tired sitting in the Sukasana postion and normally bent down. I was in this position for about 30-35 minutes.

    3) During this position, I felt subtle vibrations in my body, slight heating sensation in my hand. And I felt several times, vibrations in the ‘third eye’ chakra. Since my forehead was directly touching the ground, I felt that it might have caused pressure and eventually vibration on my ‘third eye’

    All this while, I was still not very sure about all these sensations that I was going through. I felt that it was a coincidence and due to normal pressure that I had bent forward. Basically at this point it was a 50:50 for me, whether it was rally divine energy force.

    Most importantly, all the time I felt unsure I would quietly pray to Divine mother to bless me. I tried not to focus too much in my thoughts though, however, every now and then I would quietly pray to mother kundalini. After sometime I began to get tried in the position I was and my legs started to feel very sore. My pelvic region was agonizing and lower legs were badly cramped now.

    4) The cramps inceasing in intensity and my doubts increasing whether this position was accidental, a not a work of mother kundalini…i was caught in a dilemma. I didnt want to get up myself, however, I was unable to continue in this position for long.
    I started to beg mother kundalini to relaese me as i was unable to sustain the position.
    I was also aware not get too much suggestive and force the kundalini to change my body position as was stated in ‘Sadhana’ rules.
    For the next 3-4 minutes i felt several stronger vibrations in my whole body and the Third eye region. It was definitely stronger than before. I’m also certain that I was in Shamvi Mudra as I felt myself looking right between my eyes.

    5) So far so good, but it could all be my imagination and the cramps were increasing second by second. And behold, gloriously, I felt a force in the lower and middle back, which very gently started puling me upwards. It was so tender like a like a mother gently moving her child, taking care not to hurt him. Very gently I was moved in the upright sitting position and I felt the pain release.

    6) And with the pains all my doubts were released that I had actually been experiencing life force all the time. And further mother kundalini bent me back wards and opened my legs in such a manner that my pain was also gone.

    May be all this while my head was bent down it was some kind of asana or mudra for the brain or improving concentration.

    Aha! My first experience with divinity and way to go. However, this will change my life forever and I pray to Durga me to bless us all till the very end.

    Along with other things, I pray that Sahaj yoga makes me a more humble and selfless person.

    As i have more experiences I will write more.

    Thanks Durga Ma for this wonderful gift.

    Like

  14. Arthur

    This morning during meditation, I fell into Yoga Nidra, and I dreamed that I was at a seminar. During the seminar someone turned to me and said, “One minute you think you’re a Christian, the next minute you know you are God.” Then everyone started cheering, and I was overcome with joy.

    I just had to share this with my family!

    Love,
    Arthur

    Like

    1. Mahazou

      Namaste
      Since i take Maa Initiation, the middle of my chest and my eyebrows region is active. First night, i saw DurgaMaa in dream, next time i dream of an elephant with stonelike skin and yesterday, i dream of something strange in tne deep sky. I went out to see what is i i saw the hebrew tree of life in the deep sky and someone told me that all universe is God. Thanks to Maa and happy Guru purnima.
      Mahz

      Like

  15. Johnny Allen

    My experiences so far. Even though I had missed the time Durga Ma had initiated me due to family occurrence.

    Which was quite odd of all a sudden that early in the morning for some odd reason had asked my help for doing things. Anyway I listened to the audio after I was finished and got very light.

    Since that time in the past couple of months since then I have felt my kundalini through meditation surrendering to shakti divine mother go up through my chakras like right at my throat or third eye.

    If it’s at my third eye it hasn’t cleaned it out and went fully through it yet. But I guess these signs are good.

    I felt it go through my lower chakras making me move back and forth spinning around. I also felt sensations through the chakras of emotional release, good feelings of release, and some pains from going th rough the areas.

    However it was not bad pains and did not last.

    I think the military has helped me with blocking out pain and not letting pain bother me and able to take on lots of energy healing at a time.

    Like

      1. Johnny Allen

        Also with that experience I felt my third eye open up and all this electricity in my head. All my thoughts were bouncing off not able to penetrate me and were leaving my mind. I felt as if nothing could enter me and bother me. My mind was for the first time strong and balanced. I was manifesting things in my mind and all sorts of things I can’t remember. I was in bliss. Shortly after that experience it went away my third eye shut down. Hope to look forward to experiencing that again. I guess it just takes more time and practice, with some patience for it to happen again.

        Like

    1. Dear Johnny,

      Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. You are off to a great start. Keep us posted.

      Love, *Durga Ma

      *Phoenix Metaphysica Institute.com * * Mystical Tidbits Durga Ma.com * *

      Like

      1. Hello I haven’t had any more experiences in a long time. I haven’t been meditating as much since from having no experiences. Meditation get’s boring after a while of me sitting there trying to not think or not trying. I don’t know why I get bored this easily and stop.

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  16. ASHISH KEJRIWAL

    Dear Maa

    My first distant Initiation experience was very very good. There was a lot of emotional cleansing. There was a process of myself getting closer to god as during and after the initiation, and even till now, there is more acceptance towards suffering from me. For long I had been avoiding and escaping suffering, but now there is increased awareness in me that suffering is as necessary as the other ( opposite). I also felt a lot of re-union taking place with my brother at soul level. It was a kind of therapy of my past, my childhood and even past births. Please also guide , whether I have to do sadhana now on regular basis exactly in the same manner as I did during initiation ?? – Thank You

    Like

    1. Dear Ashish,

      You are off to a very good start. Yes, by all means, continue with *sadhana *in the same manner. Do at least an hour a day. If you have time and want to get the most out of it, do two hours. There is a lot of information about surrender *sadhana *on the web site that you may want to read. You are welcome to write any time.

      Jaya Bhagavan, *Durga Ma

      *Phoenix Metaphysica Institute.com * * Mystical Tidbits Durga Ma.com * *

      Like

      1. Dear Durga Ma,

        Finally the day of my initiation came and it was unbelievable. Simply so I, because I was able to feel the divine presence in absolute, unambiguous way. It was not just in clues, or random suggestive ways for me to deduce. I felt the life force of divine mother and it was gentle.

        Let me start how…….(Incidentally I have been initiated on 22nd July, a very auspicious day i.e Guru Poornima, i.e when one’s Guru is in his/her full power and the day when one pays reverence to one’s Guru).

        To begin I sat in a normal, Indian crossed legged fashion. Not a Padmasana but a normal Sukhasana.

        1) Starting into the 15 minutes of meditation which began with the mantra and mandala, I felt absolutely nothing. Truly speaking, I started to feel little discouraged, however, I had decided I would go through the entire 1 hour no matter what.

        2) Shortly after 15 – 20 minutes, I felt a minute vibrations in my back causing my posture to bend downwards. Very, slowly I started bending my head further down until my head was touching the ground. I was still cross legged and simultaneously my head was bent down, my hands still on my knees.

        It was like an inverted ‘U’. However, at this point I was not sure whether it was the kundalini had actually moved my body in this posture or was it that my body had got tired sitting in the Sukasana postion and normally bent down. I was in this position for about 30-35 minutes.

        3) During this position, I felt subtle vibrations in my body, slight heating sensation in my hand. And I felt several times, vibrations in the ‘third eye’ chakra. Since my forehead was directly touching the ground, I felt that it might have caused pressure and eventually vibration on my ‘third eye’

        All this while, I was still not very sure about all these sensations that I was going through. I felt that it was a coincidence and due to normal pressure that I had bent forward. Basically at this point it was a 50:50 for me, whether it was rally divine energy force.

        Most importantly, all the time I felt unsure I would quietly pray to Divine mother to bless me. I tried not to focus too much in my thoughts though, however, every now and then I would quietly pray to mother kundalini. After sometime I began to get tried in the position I was and my legs started to feel very sore. My pelvic region was agonizing and lower legs were badly cramped now.

        4) The cramps inceasing in intensity and my doubts increasing whether this position was accidental, a not a work of mother kundalini…i was caught in a dilemma. I didnt want to get up myself, however, I was unable to continue in this position for long.
        I started to beg mother kundalini to relaese me as i was unable to sustain the position.
        I was also aware not get too much suggestive and force the kundalini to change my body position as was stated in ‘Sadhana’ rules.
        For the next 3-4 minutes i felt several stronger vibrations in my whole body and the Third eye region. It was definitely stronger than before. I’m also certain that I was in Shamvi Mudra as I felt myself looking right between my eyes.

        5) So far so good, but it could all be my imagination and the cramps were increasing second by second. And behold, gloriously, I felt a force in the lower and middle back, which very gently started puling me upwards. It was so tender like a like a mother gently moving her child, taking care not to hurt him. Very gently I was moved in the upright sitting position and I felt the pain release.

        6) And with the pains all my doubts were released that I had actually been experiencing life force all the time. And further mother kundalini bent me back wards and opened my legs in such a manner that my pain was also gone.

        May be all this while my head was bent down it was some kind of asana or mudra for the brain or improving concentration.

        Aha! My first experience with divinity and way to go. However, this will change my life forever and I pray to Durga me to bless us all till the very end.

        Along with other things, I pray that Sahaj yoga makes me a more humble and selfless person.

        As i have more experiences I will write more.

        Thanks Durga Ma for this wonderful gift.

        Like

  17. Philip Walton

    I had an apparently simple sadhana yesterday evening, yet it was follwed later by a dream that was probably significant. As soon as I entered sadhana I was more or less told to go to sleep (by my own inner voice), which I immediately did. I awoke and came out of sadhana 90 minutes later feeling more balanced and refreshed. I do not recall any experiences during the sadhana.

    During the night I dreamt of many things, little of which is remembered, but in particular I was washing silt and sludge from a large open drain with an hosepipe. Suddenly there was an avalanche of silt that had been hidden under a footbridge over the drain. I then went into a wooden shed that had an array of pipes wound around it spraying water onto the shed.
    I should think that the whole experience was relative to purification?
    Love Philip

    Like

  18. -Aum-
    Divine Durgaa Maa,
    Thank You, Thank You, Thank You
    x Infinity!
    There is No Doubt, this is the Supreme Method of Sadhana
    as Pure Surrender…
    The utter Simplicity of Letting Go to Let the Supreme Truth Be.
    There is No Doubt that the Supreme Intelligence and Unlimited Potential of Sakti can clear any apparent Obstructions to Reality better than little “me”.

    Just because it is the simplest most direct method of no methods does not mean it is easy. That silly little “me” has been ingrained in the delusion of “doership” for ages, and it “me” realizes that when it comes to just Surrendering to the Truth – Absolute Reality – (Siva) (the Ever Immortal Undivided Illumined Being)- well then we are all the Same… 100% Equal…

    Does not matter about having completed this sankalpa (sadhana) or that one, or knowing this yogic secret or, that other MAYA – secret mantra, Kriya, etc. Or having met his Siddha, or any other relative story in relation to all these Maya’s of identity with practice. So this mind sees that the mind has been playing various games recently to regain a foot hold here. Because if it comes to total surreder to Maha Sakti, well it isn’t always pretty for little “me” – we have read the Chandi… LOL! om-namash-chandikaayai – OFF with MY HEAD! TE he he ho ha, Careful we may just get what we ask for…

    again thank you Divine Durgaa Maa, this mind was reminded in meeting you (online) of the TOTAL IMPORTANCE of Surrender, as it says in so many true scriptures: That State of the Absolute Pure Primordial Consciousness can only be Realized by That All Encompassing Awareness It-Self (as direct experience “super conscious” Realization) anything else is just a projection of the Infinite Possibilities(Sakti) in That Infinite Medium of Consciousness (Siva)…

    Thank you for clearing our delusion of self effort, and the sneaky tricks of the shape-shifting ego(mahishasura).

    Durgaa Maa is a good name for Her for sure, these Teachings of Durgaa Maa’s Sahaja Yoga, can clear the subtle ego that sneaks up on many Sadhakas with many years of “attainment” in practice. Otherwise with so many of these systems of Yogic sadhana with the secret techniques, and rigorous practice it is easy to reinforce “un-knowingly” the ego and relative identity in setting one self apart from others who are not committed to such practice. After years of practice and meeting many practitioners this mind has immense respect for these great practitioners and these great commitments.

    But in Surrender to the Divine Reality (Simple Truth), we are all equal; and this is closer to the Absolute Truth of an Ultimate Unity, One Indivisible Being (SambaSadaSiva).

    Un-expressible Gratitude,

    Darshan Baba

    Like

    1. Dear Baba,

      What you say is certainly true. The “ego” is a tenacious little core piece of the ever-busy mind. As to sadhana (of any kind) actually obliterating it or its programs and conditioning, I have to agree with Patanjali: it doesn’t. Sadhana can only put them into a latent state long enough to achieve samadhi, which will, over time, upstage the little buggers.

      Love, Durga Ma

      Like

  19. HAZEL

    DEAR DURGA MA

    MY SHAKTI INITIATION WAS PLEASANT AND CALM I DID FEEL THE SNAKE LIKE MOVEMENT OF THE KUNDALINI A BIT AT THE END AND I AM SO HAPPY TO BE STARTING MY NEW LIFE AS A BEING OF EXPANDED AWARENESS AS I TOLD YOU BEFORE I HAVE NOTICED MORE ENERGY AS WELL BUT I DO HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU

    COULD YOU GIVE ME A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION OF THE KUNDALINI RISING PROCESS I REALIZE THERE ARE NOT MANY STUDIES REGARDING THIS

    DOES SENDING REIKI TO THE ROOT CHAKRA HELP KUNDALINI RISE MORE GENTLY

    ALSO I JUST READ FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT KUNDALINI IS LIGHT I SEE BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT WHEN I MEDITATE AND MY GUIDES TAKE ME INTO A WHOLE WORLD OF LIGHT WOULD MY EXPERIENCES HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH KUNDALINI

    BLESSINGS

    HAZEL

    Like

    1. Dear Hazel,

      To give a scientific explanation of *kundalini* would take a great deal of time and space. Also, according to ancient mystical texts (i.e., Shiva Samhita, Goraksha Shataka, and others), … Not even the man of wisdom (the *rishi*, sage) truly knows Kundalini; he who says he knows Her, does not know Her. So I would be a fool to assume to know. I can only give you bits and pieces:

      Subtle Kundalini is Shakti functioning as the evolutionary force in the body. Her less subtle form is DNA. Her grossest form is sexual energy (and all the hormonal secretions that go with that). She patiently awaits our union with Her. She tries to evolve us to our natural state of divine perfection, and will do so to the degree that we stay out of her way.

      Kundalini is the divine Roto-Rooter when She is up-turned and ascendent. Moving up the *sushumna* *nadi*, the kind and benificent central channel, the Life Energy, *prana*, travels upward riding on her slipstream. * Prana-kundalini* systematically clears and evolves the energy centers (* chakras*) and the knots & tangles (*granthis*) as She makes Her way upward until She reaches the steeple, union is attained, and bells ring joyously (yes, you really do hear them; this is the basis of the ringing of the church bells in the church steeple, especially for weddings).

      Ascendent Kundalini is not easy to achieve. Although there may be times when She darts up and gives us previews of coming attractions, She will not quickly or easily be stable in Her upward flow. This will only happen for the very sincere and fully dedicated seeker who abandons the quest for the fulfillment of worldly happiness in favor of ardent desire for Truth, God, the Real, eternal happiness, and release from the cycle of birth and death ( *moksha*, liberation).

      An experience of Kundalini can be an experience of light, a preview of coming attractions.

      Sending Reiki to the root *chakra* is a technique. To make the most of your surrender *sadhana*, abandon techniques like this. Not because they are wrong or bad, but because you don’t need them, nor are they in the best interest of your own advancement. Through surrender to the Divine, Kundalini will rise naturally in the most effortless and easy manner possible when the time comes. Interfering with this will just cause trouble.

      I hope this answers your questions, at least in part.

      Namaste, Durga Ma

      P. S. I do not mean that you should not continue doing Reiki as your occupation.

      Like

  20. Philip Walton

    Dear Durga Ma,

    I have just had one very tough sadhana. It follows a week of increasing tension in body and mind, with loss of sleep resulting in feeling very tired during the day, and wobbly legs, disorientation and so forth. After a period of sadhana when mental activity was greatly reduced, even at the beginning of meditation, today’s sadhana was full of mental activity and recalled memories. I found mysydelf asking to let go of the past, praying for forgiveness of self and others. Finally I smiled at Diving Mother, and tongue in cheek asked for mercy! She must have had pity on me, for I then found myself drifting into peace and my hands moving to rest on my heart. I smile now whilst writing this.

    During several weeks prior to this I felt as though my ego was being deconstructed and I was becoming more aware of the ego in my life. During the day I was watching my mind and noticing the flaws in my thoughts and actions.I was trying to get into the habit of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones (mental yoga) as they occured.

    I write this because there were times during the last week that I could have given up to be content with a life of ignorance, and if anyone else finds themselves in this position to let them know they are not alone.

    Love,
    Philip

    Like

    1. Dear Philip,

      Thank you for letting us in on this. It is so important that everyone understand that there will be difficult periods, but that the outcome is always in our best interest and often very blissful. Through surrender *sadhana *God, Divine Mother Shakti, serves us the most surprising ways.

      Love, Durga Ma

      P.S. I thought I was writing something other than what actually got written. Isn’t Divine Mother amazina?! (Don’t bother to ask what it was, because I no loner remember, and I don’t believe for a moment that this was just a “senior moment”.)

      Like

      1. Philip Walton

        Dear Durga Ma,

        I won’t bother to ask, as you requested, but I am beginning to experience senior momoments at 65, so I am as confused as the next person.

        Love, Philip

        Like

        1. Dear Philip,

          I think old age is a blessing. We are allowed, if not encouraged, to forget. Isn’t Shakit* *wonderful? We go through life filling our minds with data, most of which is either useless or outdated, and are credited with “knowledge”. When we get old enough, with Her help, it all begins to disintegrate and we find ourselves among younger people who are trying to lose their minds in order to become enlightened. We’re already half way there without even trying!

          Love, Durga Ma

          Like

  21. I will shortly have completed 60 consecutive days of surrender meditation. In that time, I have found a new sense of peace in what is a particularly stressful period of my life.

    I am able to stand back from the rampant thoughts that not so long ago would have embroiled me in their wild fluctuations and led to arguments or moodiness. Instead I am able to smile and see them for what they are. If the practice brought only this it be the most valuable thing in the world to me.

    I lie down for my practice, there is very little if any movement, my mind is very busy initially and then it drops away, sometimes i fall asleep, sometimes i am not asleep but am not aware of anything until my timer goes off.

    Sometimes i feel a pounding in my head, sometimes I am aware of heat in my palms (like when i do reiki).

    If i put awareness into the body I am sure that I would feel something, but I try not to do anything and just lie there until the timer goes off.

    I am very greatful to have come to find this this practice and for that I have my good friend Arthur to thank. Thanks of course are also due to Durga Ma and the lineage of masters.

    Like

  22. Arthur

    Dear Durga Ma,

    To answer your question, it’s always the same sequence of events, almost every session. First my mind roams free for a short while. I’m not even sure there are any “I” thoughts; there is just thinking. Then I feel the energy break free. It flows through my body in an upward stream toward my head. Sometimes I feel like it is sinking into my skull and concentrating there for just a moment before the next wave begins. There may be a twitch or two in my body, a movement in my foot or abdomen, but there are no large movements. My body basically stays in the very same position. My awareness becomes hazy, then everything goes blank. There are no thoughts, no memories, no dreams, no movement, no anything. When I come out of this state, I know that time has passed, but I don’t know how much. Most of the time I transition out of this phase into dreaming sleep before I become fully awake.

    Love,
    Arthur

    Like

  23. Arthur

    Dear Durga Ma,

    It has been some time since I’ve shared here, but I feel it is time again. For the past couple of months it seemed like little was happening during my sadhana. Now, I’m starting to think I’ve been overlooking something Shakit has been trying to show me. I’ll explain my experiences.

    My meditation begins with my mind meandering, but then the energy begins to flow. Generally it flows upward toward the crown, but at other times it reverses it’s direction. It’s pleasant, but really, I pay it little mind. Then I drop into nothingness. The background recedes. I no longer hear my music playing. Time passes, but I lose all awareness of it. The nothing that is happening is REALLY nothing. There are no sights, no sounds, no background, no foreground, no self…only existence. As I shift out of this state, I can’t remember which direction my body is facing or what position I’m in. Sometimes I pass into sleep first, along with ordinary dreaming. Then I pass from dreaming to a waking state. At times it’s almost like I’m walking from one state to another like rooms in a house. I thought all this nothingness was just a “dry spell,” but now I’m wondering if this nothingness isn’t something more.

    I leave this to you to explain, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter what happens. My heart is committed to surrender. I have one goal, and that is God alone. My heart is on fire; everything is perfect. Thank you dear Mother for your grace.

    Love,
    Arthur

    Like

    1. Dear Arthur,

      This is a very nice phase of sadhana. I remember it well and I remember how much I liked it. It would be easy to get attached to this state.

      As to the excerpt you sent…

      “When entering the causal body, the mind becomes hard like a rock. The brain feels heavy. Thinking stops. There is no room in the brain for thought to enter. One feels as if one is going unconscious, because in many ways, thinking and awareness go together, and when thinking stops, awareness sometimes stops also. One feels that one is sinking into sleep, into nothingness, non-existence. We are self-aware that our awareness is getting dimmer and dimmer. Then a moment passes, and we recognize for a period of time, we were not aware at all. We “remember” that for a moment we were not conscious of anything, we were not self-aware, yet we know we existed because something in us remembers that we did not exist for a period of time.”

      This is a fair description of awareness of the causal body, though I do not think of “entering” the causal body, but as awareness of/in the causal plane, or as leaving the gross body behind (we wear our causal bodies and astral bodies right along with the physical one).

      We exist whether we remember or experience awareness of our existence or not.

      Where did this excerpt come from?

      Love,
      Durga Ma

      Like

      1. Arthur

        Dear Durga Ma,

        It is a quote from “Self-Realization and Other Awakenings” by Ed Muzika. Unlike many teachers who say we are Consciousness, he says we are beyond consciousness, much like you and Yogeshwar Muni have said. That is what he is referring to when he said, “we existed because something in us remembers that we did not exist for a period of time.” Consciousness comes and goes (and all thinking, feeling, etc with it), but the Self is constant.

        Honestly, I don’t feel attached to this state or any other experience I have had during Sadhana. My heart burns for God alone, and I pray to be purged of all that obscures the view of Divinity.

        Love,
        Arthur

        Like

  24. David

    It has been a few weeks since I did the remote shaktipat, and I feel there has been a definite shift of sorts.

    Nothing dramatic, but I feel I have been going deeper with my meditations, and the energy (chi I think, pretty sure my K isn’t active) seems to be flowing easier.

    The most noticable change has been in my emotional state. I feel more connected to my body / emotions / ego, yet at the same time more distant, as if my identity is shifting more in line with the ‘witness’, so to speak.

    While i’m not certain this has to do with the shaktipat, my intuition tells me that it something was instigated through Durga Ma’s energy (though I don’t know what!), so I wanted to give my gratitude.

    Thanks!

    Love,
    David

    Like

    1. Dear David,

      Thank you for sharing this with us. Purification (things getting put where they naturally belong) is a multi-level process. What you are describing is one of Shakti’s subtle purifications. Your kundalini was already awake but was heading for oblivion until your initiation. Shakti is now dealing with things that need attention in order for kundalini to be released more fully. Shakti works in mysterious ways.

      Love,
      Durga Ma

      Like

      1. David

        Thank you for the swift reply.

        Your words resonate with me, but much of what I have read indicates one would absolutely ‘know’ if your kundalini was awake, and seeing as I have not had many of the experiences generally associated with an active kundalini, I assumed mine was still sleeping. Is there somewhere I can read more about the kundalini oblivion you mentioned? Is there anything I can do to assist this purification?

        Lately I have been drawn to watching some of Adyashanti’s satsangs, and they have been resonating very deeply with me. Awakening as he speaks about it involves an experiential union with the all… a KNOWING, and though I believe my true nature is the divine within all, I have never EXPERIENCED this (that I can remember), though there is a part of me that strongly yearns for it. I don’t care about having mystical experiences, but I feel out of tune with my true nature and greatly desire to Know my Self.

        I hope this makes sense, and I’m not just rambling. Please let me know if you need any clarification.

        Thank you again for offering guidance.

        Love,
        David

        Like

        1. Dear David,

          Re “much of what I have read indicates one would absolutely ‘know’ if your kundalini was awake”: One reads all kinds of things. *No one really knows * *kundalini. *This is Swami Kripalu’s teaching, my own experience, and can be found in yogic scriptures. However, in the inimitable way of the Eastern mind and its love of paradoxes, it is also taught that the yogi or yogini who knows *kundalini *knows *yoga*. My comment to you is based on these three sourcesoral teachings, written teachings (scripture), and experience. Everyone and their dog these days, thinks they know Kundalini, but in fact, most of what you will hear or read is not about *kundalini*, but about *prana, *or at best, *prannotthana*, the precursor to the awakening of Kundalini. It is also not generally known that there are degrees of Her awakening, as well as associated conditions, such as having Her head turned up or turned down, whether She is “active” or not, and whether She is upward trended or not.

          You will find more about *kundalini *in Swami Kripalu’s *Revealing the Secret*, a commentary on the Hatha Yoga Pradiipika (attached), the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, Shiva Samhita, Goraksha Shataka, and various other yogic texts.

          Re “Is there anything I can do to assist this purification?”: Do the *sadhana. *Surrender *sadhana’s *purpose is purification. Because surrender allows for the freedom of *prana*, whose job is to purify and maintain well-being, this approach to purification without forcing is the most effective means. It is like sweeping the floor to find the shinning finish beneath, which is what you say you are looking for, but you don’t even have to do the sweeping. *You *won’t have to figure out how to do anything, it will be taken care of for you because you have delegated the job to God, Shakti, the Divine; this is surrender. Direct EXPERIENCE and KNOWING will come, effortlessly. Such is “mystical experience”. Practice, patience and persistence is all you need.

          Love, Durga Ma

          Like

  25. Today is my 40th consectuive day of practice since the remote initiation just after Christmas last year. I look forward to the practice every single day, and every day no matter how bad or good other things are, I feel cushioned and sustained.

    For me knowing that I can’t do anything wrong, that everything is in Shakti’s hands, that all I need do is surrender is extremely liberating and comforting.

    With sincere thanks to Durga Ma and Arthur 🙂

    Like

  26. Perfect timing—we ran out of space on that last thread. I’ll begin the new year by replying to Martyn’s message. I have copied it here because it didn’t make it onto last years roll:

    “Today’s session was good, so much easier to be relaxed when you dont have any expectations on what should or shouldn’t be happening.

    “I did fall asleep once or twice, well that thing where your head drops and you jerk yourself awake. In my defense i was running on very little sleep 🙂 ”

    Dear Martyn,
    Yes, it does seem to sneak up, doesn’t it, whether running on little sleep or not?
    Durga Ma

    Like

    1. Todays session went well, I am noticing that as i get quite close to the end of the session (not sure when as my eyes are closed) I tend to get a little anxious and then it passes away leaving a greater peace. It is then from this greater peace that the session ends.

      Like

      1. Another good session, something else that i’ve been noticing is that sometimes i feel like i am rotating or spiralling about my spine. The anxiety towards the end of the session appears to be easing, although i am aware of when the end is approaching.

        Like

        1. Another good session today, this one seemed to pass very quickly and after about 10 minutes or so the amount of chatter in my mind dropped off significantly. I find myself naturally coming back to normal consciousness a few minutes before the hour is up.

          Like

            1. Philip Walton

              I have just experienced a very profound meditation. I cannot give a thorough and complete account due to the abstract and conceptual thoughts that arose in a contemplative period of the meditation. The meditation almost immediately began with pranayama after a few thoughts on events occurring during the day. A sudden thought then took hold of me, what if I had not been taught in any way on matters religious or spiritual during childhood? What if God was never mentioned? This further led to having not had any education whatsoever through life, as if a hunter gatherer of early man, learning only from the experience of the environment and life within it. How would I have found God? By dwelling upon a feeling, an emotion of the higher self? A memory? I gazed into the darkness behind closed eyes and an unlit room beyond, and then within. A saying of Paracelsus came to mind, “The cause of all suffering is human knowledge.” My thought then turned to the Kabbalah, its Tree of Life, and the sephiroth Chokmah.

              I was in a quiet place of contentment, very comfortable in the dark, as if protected from the indoctrinations of childhood, and beyond. The darkness was the Light that cannot be seen by the human senses. And then a more intense pranayama took place, intermingled with yawns and sighs. The meditation was completed with physical stretchings and waving of arms, interspersed groaning and some utterings of gibberish.

              After the meditation I looked up ‘Chokmah’, and found it to be placed on top of the right hand column (Mercy) of the Tree of Life. It’s meaning being ‘Wisdom, knowledge, intelligence, insight, judgement’, but I believe Wisdom and insight are the key words here. More of this please God.

              Like

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