Truth & Consequence – Kundalini Part One

No one wants Truth.

On more than one occasion I heard Durga Ma say this. “People want their desires fulfilled,” she would say. In my early years with her I took that statement very personally and would often make pleas in vain for the people of the world, truly believing on some level she was wrong.

Except she wasn’t wrong. It is the truth.

It is said that all desire emerges from the single original desire to return back to our original state (union, or yoga). Yet over time, with our learning and conditioning holding hands with various life experiences, it becomes deluded. We forget. This is where Truth becomes truth and Self becomes self. The Absolute gives way and we become identified and thus bound to the Relative (material) realm of existence.

I would discuss this with Durga Ma and make the argument that if all desire is ultimately desire for Truth/God/Divine, then of course people do want it. They just don’t know it.

Don’t be like me.

On one hand this is a great intellectual argument to inspire people to the idea that they are seeking Truth. However, at the end of the day we don’t know what we don’t know. It is a noble thing to aspire after Truth. It is also arduous, complex, filled with obstacles and suffering just as much as it’s siblings of peace, joy and bliss.

image credit

If we are seeking Truth to the exclusion of all else, that means the walls of our perceived realities will have to come down… all of them. Presenting the threat to life as we know it, and that’s a real thing. I should add that the illusion we can protect our perceived life to begin with is also a real thing.

At some point Durga Ma and I started having some real frank conversations about the state of the world. Despite the ways in which we see beauty in the world, people are not enlightened and this is not the beginning of a Golden Age. When there is mass killing, war, violence, starvation, and general bad behavior spread across the planet, we can’t afford the luxury of leaning on an ideal of global awakening without first taking responsibility for our own choices and actions.

It is, however, an amazing age. People are having spiritual awakenings all across the world in and outside of spiritual environments. This points to a shift, and an important one in my humble opinion. It also points to our individual and collective responsibility that comes with that priviledge.

We have a responsibility to know what it is we actually want, with the knowledge that desire over Truth doesn’t make anyone less than anyone else. But it will give us the power to make the appropriate choices consciously to get there.

These discussions I mentioned having with Durga Ma kept leading me back to one glaring observation… people are suffering. They are starved for connection, meaning, and love. That is what most people actually want more than Truth. So here’s the thing about it… that’s totally natural and just as noble as seeking Truth and Liberation.

In this world one cannot afford to ignore anyone. Every human being has a claim to some measure of respect and support from every other. No one should think that he is of greater importance for the maintenance of order in the universe than anyone else. Without a ruler a country cannot be governed, on the other hand there can be no ruler without subjects. Each one is progressing continually on the path of action that has been assigned to him by the Creator. Therefore, to consider oneself great and others small because of any merit or position of prestige one may have acquired, is a serious mistake. Rather than regard this vast universe as a conglomeration of countless particles, look upon it as one indivisible cosmos, and all distinctions between high and low will then disappear. A man who respects himself will have even more respect for others. Without respect reverence cannot develop, and without reverence love will not awaken. When love is wanting the Lord of Love recedes into the far distance and will be difficult to find.

-Anandamayi Ma from Sad Vani 

What many people don’t know (at least in the West, according to my experience) is that this is a natural phase of life that ultimately leads to the desire for Truth. When we have made enough success and progress in our “worldly life,” we  naturally seek Truth. Mainly because we experience the emptiness of material wealth in all it’s forms… we get bored. Then comes the next phase in life where we begin to turn our attention inward and seek freedom.

So now we have another viewpoint, and still people having spiritual awakenings all over the place in the midst of worldly life and no idea what to do with it. I think the short answer is, nothing… drastic. The Western world runs on action more than patience and contemplation.  An awakening is like a call, an initiation to get your attention to pay attention. It’s the beginning, not the end.

While I appreciate the enthusiasm and drive of the exploding spiritual phenomenon in the Western world, we might be more inclined to find what we are looking for by listening to the spiritual instinct within and what it is truly asking of us. The noble path is knowing and honoring the truth within oneself, because that knowledge gives us the power to make conscious choices to get there. This is a vital part of the process of awakening (in my opinion).

If the answer is Truth, then go for it. If the answer is to fulfill desire for success, love, connection, healing, then go for it. All paths lead home. This leads into the subject of Kundalini… of which I am including a recording (Part One) of a talk given by Durga Ma in 1992.

With the spiritual movement growing like wildfire, I will reveal that not only can I be stubborn, but I am also vigilant. There is a LOT of misinformation out there about kundalini. She is not for people who want success and happiness in life. She has one job, evolution. I say this with great love and concern for protecting what it is that you want, and your venture in attaining it. While the mystery around her can be alluring, knowledge is imperative and essential to your journey.

With Love,


Listen to Durga Ma’s talk on Kundalini – Part One here


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The Darshan of the Self – Bhagavad Gita, Ch 13, Vs 12

Self & Other Than Self

It is taught that the purpose of Knowledge is Knowledge of Truth. From That, the darshan of the Eternal Self arises. Knowledge contrary to this is ignorance.

  • Knowledge of Truth – True Knowledge, from tattva (Truth is ‘that’, i.e., Otherness).

The purpose of Knowledge of the Absolute is to know the True Self, the Real You. It is from this Knowledge that Self Realization arises as enlightenment, the absence of ignorance.

In other words, Self Realization attained through Knowledge of Truth is enlightenment. Ignorance, which is contrary to this, is the state of not being enlightened. Knowledge of Truth is attained through experience in meditation, not book-learning. However, learning of it from those who have reached it, sets the stage so that this can take place. This is a reference to both guru and scripture as sources of learning.  

Attaining Self Realization is then accomplished through the darshan of the Self — you see your True Self and realize that this ‘Self’ is Other-than-You.

Darshan – ‘To see’: (1) to see something with the eyes, and (2) to see directly, without eyes, thus knowing with certainty that what you are seeing is Real. 

Darshan of the Self – You see your Real Self by means of your inherent power of sight — directly (without eyes). In this way, you obtain knowledge of the Self as Other-than-self, for if you are seeing the Self this begs the question, “Who’s looking?” Obviously, this Self is not the one doing the looking; the looker is You.

Pranam 1

This description of darshan explains why gurus give darshan for students, disciples, and other people who have come to them. The guru knows that he or she is the same as the one who pranams (bows down before them) in ‘what‘ it is that they both really are: Divine Absolute Imperishable Individuals.


Thus is pranam a powerful form of surrender, for it is the key to full surrender of oneself to Absolute God in meditation. This surrender is how Self Realization takes place. If you cannot put your ego on the floor and pranam before this Divine Other, you will not surrender sufficiently in your meditation to attain Self Realization. Pranam is the short cut to the Truth of You.


A jnani (knowledge oriented person) pranams because he understands it; a bhakti (devotionally oriented) pranams because he is lovingly committed; a yogi (action oriented) pranams out of gratitude for being allowed to do it.

If you are someone who is seeking Self Realization, this message is for you. If you are going about this pursuit by focusing on yourself, you should consider changing your tactics and instead, seek Absolute God as other than you. Then Self Realization will arise of its own accord in your meditation.

Self & OtherAs a human being you can only see yourself as if in a mirror, indirectly, whereas Self Realization is direct. Because you are human and have a mind with an ego at its core, the temptation, encited by the ego, is to think that concentrating on yourself is the way to Self Realization. But this will not work, for as a human being, Absolute Truth/God is obviously other-than-you. 

Tattva – Truth as other-than-you, from tat, ‘that’.

Multi Faces, One Mirror

By trying to reach Self Realization by concentrating on yourself, you are trying to reach Truth via the ego, so all you will get is ego, however exalted your experience may seem. You get what you worship, what you believe, what you surrender to, what you rely on. Hence the need for correct knowledge and understanding of Truth, and the surrender of yourself to That in meditation.

Many people try to reach Self Realization by means of the ego without realizing it. This is self-indulgence, and it is not going to work. It can’t work because Truth in the Absolute sense is other-than-self. Only from a place of Absolute Truth can one truly say, “I am That.”

Namaste (I bow to the divine one that you really are),
Durga Ma

Spiritual Leadership Voyages

From Durga Ma & Anandi

Your life has a purpose. Do you know what it is?

You have a very important life purpose that will have an impact on the world. This purpose is filled with joy, abundance and happiness, and is literally waiting for you right now.

Put the knowledge of meditation into action to catapult your personal and spiritual growth into Mastery, and share it with the world. Become a Spiritual Leader

The fulfillment of your purpose as a Spiritual Leader will demonstrate your own true nature, and your True Self will emerge. Aligned with your True Self in everyday life, you become a leader who exemplifies the possibility of sustainable joy, abundance and fulfillment. 

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If You Can’t Do That, Do This – Bhagavad Gita, Ch 12, Vs 9 – 10


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The mind is made of consciousness. You have a brain because you have a mind.
The mind is made of consciousness. You have a brain because you have a mind.

The Bhagavad Gita appears in the story of the Mahabharata. It is a conversation between Lord Krishna and his devotee and childhood friend, Arjuna. Listening in, we receive the teachings of Lord Krishna as he relates them to Arjuna.

The subject of this chapter is Devotion.

This post addresses what to do if you are unable to practice as taught in the previous verses in order to reach Self Realization as described in verse 8.

Previously in verse 8:
With your mind fixed solely on Me, your power of discernment will follow and cause you to stay with Me henceforth. Of this there is no doubt.

Now we begin a string of what are usually considered to be different ways of proceeding if you can’t do as taught in verse 8. But they can also be seen additional practices. Or you might consider them as different ways to understand the same thing. Those of you who practice surrender sadhana will find that they represent different forms your meditation will naturally take with the arising of kriyas.

If you are not able to keep your attention fixed on Me, practice Yoga with your desire to reach Me.

Alternate translation:
If you are unable to be firm, fix your attention on your desire for Me and then practice Yoga.

Your Attention flows from you to Other-than-you so you can be conscious of it.
Your Attention flows from you to what is other-than-you so you can be conscious of it.

“Keep your attention fixed on Me”

The Sanskrit for Attention is chitta. The root (cit) is the same as for ‘consciousness’.

The sole purpose of Yoga is to reach God/Truth, and liberation from the cycles of birth and death. This is accomplished by establishing a steady flow of Attention on Absolute God/Truth. This is also the definition of ‘meditation’, and reveals the dependence on meditation for successful spiritual development and self-improvement.

  • Attention is a flow of consciousness to anything you can be conscious of.
  • Meditation is a steady flow of attention to one thing..


Your perception is dependent on your Attention flowing to something that can be perceived, so you may see in some translations, “Meditate on Me.” This is saying that your Attention must become established on only one thing—”Me”, God—so that only God/Truth is what you are conscious of.  

The simple expedient of surrendering to Absolute God/Truth is the obvious shortcut. By surrendering yourself to God in meditation, the attention becomes established on God without you having to do anything to make it so.

We westerners like to think that all we need to do to meditate is to think about something, even if it is the the now, the silence, the void. Even dictionaries define meditation as ‘thinking things over’. But “meditate on Me” does not mean that you should think about God and try to sustain that thought. Well, this is close, but the Attention must be anchored and established exclusively on God, not on a thought. Attention is the key.

Attention is consciousness moving from the mind to perceive things so that you are conscious of them. In this verse, you are being asked to choose Absolute God/Truth instead of other things, and if you can’t do that, to allow your attention be drawn to, and fixed on, your desire for God/Truth.


“Practice Yoga with your desire to reach Me”

The practice of yoga has been described over and over again, most recently in verses 6 – 7. This verse is telling you what to do if and when you can’t keep your attention on God: Let your Attention go to your desire for God, and allow your Attention to stay on that desire. This is a tricky little subterfuge, for with your Attention on your desire for God/Truth, your Attention is on God. You are using desire, which can otherwise be troublesome, to bring you into union with God. In this case, desire is not the enemy. Instead, it will save you. 

This desire is the key to yoga. In another place in the Gita, Lord Krishna says, “I am that desire in man which is not contrary to dharma (Truth).” So by letting your mind become fixed on your desire for God, on the fulfillment of this desire for God, and your feelings of devotion for God, you will get God because this desire IS God.

Your desire for God is God

If you try repeatedly and still cannot keep your attention on Me, hold My action as the Highest Action and assume My state. Thus by performing action you will attain success.

Alternate translation:
If you try repeatedly and still cannot do this, then hold My Highest Action as My state, and assuming My state, perform action anyway, and you will attain success.

In Meditation

Lord Krishna is calling this meditation His ‘Highest Action’. Everything He is saying is in this context. There is a saying among those of us who practice this yoga, that one acts “as if” until it is so. So if you are not successful practicing according to the former instructions, act as if you were—assume His state as a non-doer, and perform actions anyway.

“Mentally renouncing one’s sense of being the doer of actions (you surrender yourself to God), the embodied one (You) sits happily as the Master within the city of nine gates (the body), not acting or causing action.” Ch 5, Vs 13By following this instruction, actions will occur spontaneously on their own.

He is saying in effect, “Don’t worry about it, just go ahead anyway. Don’t get caught up in trying to figure out who or what is doing these actions, just let action take care of itself.” If you assume His state you won’t interfere with actions that want to take place. So in your meditation, act as if actions are happening on their own and that you are doing nothing, even if it seems like you are.

The reason this works is because you really are not doing it. All action occurs in Nature, and you are not Nature. So taking this position will get you to a place where all doubt and confusion about who or what is doing or causing action, will disappear.

This Highest Action refers to this spontaneous action that occurs as a result of surrendering yourself to God in meditation. When you approach yoga with this surrender, you are guaranteed success. How could it be otherwise?

In Everyday Life

You may not always find yourself in a situation where this yoga can be practiced. In this case, whatever you do in your daily life, do it for God. You can think of this in more than one way: You can offer whatever you do, whatever you have, whatever you enjoy, to God. You can offer the results of what you do to God. Or you can see God as the actor and yourself as the instrument for God’s purposes rather than your own. This easy practice is very clever, for it will serve to keep your Attention on God, even in the midst of chaos!

Namaste (I bow to the divine one you really are),
Durga Ma

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